...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
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