he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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