So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
