how can u be prego again
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
