Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
