living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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