So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
