Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
