Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
