Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
