just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
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