I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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