I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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