Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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