my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Randomize
