I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
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