Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Found your dick twin last night
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Randomize
