hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
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she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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