so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
id be glad to
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
