Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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