the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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