toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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