well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
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