Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
