singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
