I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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