So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
