Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
