new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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