Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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