if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
