I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
