yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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