All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
