it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
