he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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