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• (540): View more from Virginia

  woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft

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• (909): View more from California

  I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.

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• (858): View more from California

  I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.

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• (415): View more from California

  And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.

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• (310): View more from California

  I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

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• (415): View more from California

  If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league

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• (425): View more from Washington

  I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".

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• (587): View more from Alberta

  I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country

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• (415): View more from California

  He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  ARE YOU OKAY?

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Physically? Yes. Morally? No.

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