Texts From Last Night

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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.

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  (908): so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy. http://tfl.nu/ocps
  Replies (9) Good night (797) Bad night (2752)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.

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  (678): I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ. http://tfl.nu/9pde
  Replies (58) Good night (8545) Bad night (994)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe

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  (903): Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe http://tfl.nu/shgh
  Replies (8) Good night (4015) Bad night (1035)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her

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  (570): you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her http://tfl.nu/jaz5
  Replies (39) Good night (8742) Bad night (1574)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday

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  (573): Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday http://tfl.nu/t4vj
  Replies (10) Good night (3151) Bad night (1673)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am

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  (970): We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am http://tfl.nu/badm
  Replies (4) Good night (1767) Bad night (629)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.

  (904): View more from Florida

  And you say you're not good with numbers...

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  (704): There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night. (904): And you say you're not good with numbers... http://tfl.nu/gbor
  Replies (5) Good night (1272) Bad night (508)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?

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  (414): I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I? http://tfl.nu/qaua
  Replies (10) Good night (550) Bad night (876)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device

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  (708): That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device http://tfl.nu/adi5
  Replies (4) Good night (2002) Bad night (537)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.

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  (614): Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay. http://tfl.nu/o52k
  Replies (6) Good night (966) Bad night (459)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.

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  (847): Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly. http://tfl.nu/095f
  Replies (0) Good night (526) Bad night (414)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  It's still 8am.

  (1-337): View more from Louisiana

  Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.

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  (337): It's still 8am. (1-337): Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY. http://tfl.nu/s195
  Replies (2) Good night (702) Bad night (317)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.

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  (269): I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you. http://tfl.nu/fc9a
  Replies (3) Good night (620) Bad night (264)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages

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  (203): Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages http://tfl.nu/ht4o
  Replies (2) Good night (588) Bad night (253)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"

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  (330): Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face" http://tfl.nu/h62u
  Replies (1) Good night (277) Bad night (196)

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