Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
