He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life