Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
me + whiskey = a bad person
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
