you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize