There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
