Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize