i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize