I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
