i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
