If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
