It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
