saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
nutella sex= disaster
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
It's never too late to be topless.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
