Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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