can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I think I won the penis lottery.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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