Are we in a gay sports bar?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
