I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea