8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything