if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.