my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
