All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
