do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
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