R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
