make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
