My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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