i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
stop calling my apartment porn island.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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