It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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