I think my fart just growled at me.
ugly people sure do ruin things
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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