nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
50% drunk capacity currently
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
