Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I'm sobbing to NWA
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
