I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
she looked like the before picture.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
