why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize